hai~~
i really duno wads going on nowadays...
im experiencing mood swings every now and then...
once im happy and de next moment im overwhelmed by sadness...

sometimes i just dun wan to tok to others...
sometimes i just hope that everything is alright...
sometimes i just think that everything is ok if only im not here...
sometimes i just don understand y did i chose to stay back in de first place...
sometimes i just feel de emptiness inside...
sometimes i just feel de odd loneliness in a crowd...
sometimes i just wanted to go back to de past...
sometimes...
sometimes...
sometimes...

and i really cant stand de ppl around me...
imagine...
horrible people in ur group ordering u wad to do...
and if something goes wrong all de blame is being pushed to u...
and it ended up u being de only person in de team being punished...
even though it may not be ur fault...
how would u feel?

and wad if ur hardwork is being graded as lousy??
de work in which u put in lots of time and effort in it?
how would u feel?

and wad if ur acting skills is said to b downright lousy by a teacher?
and it is being pointed out in front of de whole class??
how would u feel?

and wad if ur fren is pretentious
and others only see her best side and wad u see is only de bad side?
and wad if no one noes her bad side?
and no ones believe that she is bad?
how would u feel?

and people in charge of de event pushes all de responsibilities to u
and claims all de credits from u?
and u got no praises nothing at all?
how would u feel?

and wad if ur frens r all fair-weathered?
and are only friendly wif u only to gain good things?
and when dey got their own good dey ll kick u to one side?
and ignores u and looks down on u forever?
how would u feel?

if only i had ended my life long ago...
i may not b experiencing all this bad stuffs...

sometimes i just feel like locking myself in my room...
blast de music to de fullest...
and cry my heart out...
im hiding this sadness for too long...
i may breakdown at any time...
i duno...

if only i had left...

-chen"-