i feel happy when i stare at wuwo's picture.
i feel happy when i see his smile.
i feel happy when i stare joonki's pictures.
i feel happy when i see k.okada's name.
i feel happy when i see the word wuwo.
i feel happy when i see "kyoto".
i feel happy when i see the number 8.
i feel happy when i drink milo.
i feel happy when i eat jacob's biscuit.
i feel happy when i can get to watch soccer.
i feel happy when i play squash.
i feel happy when i get to play well with coach.
i feel happy when i play well during a match.
i feel happy when i do boast and drive with xian.
i feel happy when i gossip with xian and shanti.
i feel happy when i am with them.
i feel happy when i go to ah mei with xian/shanti after trng.
i feel happy when i see my manga on the new release section.
i feel happy when i read manga.
i feel happy when i am alone at home.
i feel happy when i feel the rain pelting down on me.
i feel happy when i walk in the rain.
i feel happy when i can write my chinese compo effortlessly.
i feel happy when i am stoning.
i feel happy when i am slacking.
i feel happy when i can listen to my mp3 player.
i feel happy when i can do anything i want.
i feel happy when i see them. (it's impossible now.)
i feel happy when i go friendster.
i feel happy when i get to eat dark/milk (not white) chocolates.
i feel happy when i get to eat meiji chocolates.
i feel happy when i am with the seniors.
i feel happy when i can get to sleep in cinemas.
i feel happy when i can get to eat salty stuffs.
i feel happy when i can add salt into my tea.
i feel happy when i can go kbox with eighters.
i feel happy when i am taking stupid pictures with xian.
i feel happy when i eat salty popcorns.
i feel happy when i drink tea with salt.
i feel happy when i am on msn chatting with friends.
i feel happy when i can angst with xian and shanti.
i feel happy when i think of the times at yakun.
i feel happy when i am taking stupid neos.
i feel happy when i get to buy plasters.
i feel happy when i am on the phone.
i feel happy when i see the squash courts.
i feel happy when i go kallang.
i feel happy when i get to play squash after an injury.
i feel happy when i see the swell of my ankle goes down.
i feel happy when i get excited over joonki with regina on msn.
i feel happy when i see joonki's smile.
i feel happy when i go to the japan squash page.
i feel happy when i can wear shorts/pants.
i feel happy when i can wear t-shirts.
i feel happy when i see the rain.
i feel happy when i am staying up late.
i feel happy when i see the sky in the colour of dark gray.

there are so many things to make me feel happy.

and they are all simple and small things.

but why am i feeling sad and empty all over again?