ok my life is really in a mess now. sorry that sounds emo but it can't be helped. i know no one reads my blog but whatever. that should be the case. so i can view out anything. :/

me and hongye just had some mass emo-ing session but it's just basically me who's complaining. well.

#1 results are dipping. can't seem to focus. sorry.

#2 squash game is deproving. don't know. perhaps it's just today.

#3 my parents are getting PARANOID over my studies/results. somehow. considering that 2 cousins have failed their entrance exams (one to U one to sec sch) in just a mere month. not surprised that they are getting worried, considering my current state. well. i understand but what's the point of talking A LEVELS AND UNIVERSITY STUFFS to ME right now when i have yet to decide what subjects to take in JC? ROAR. and please don't tell me what university i should go to and what course i should take. i'm in charge of my future alright. AND I'M NOT GOING TO OPT FOR MANAGEMENT NOR ECONS ALRIGHT!! ROAR.

yeah right whatever i'm just very sick and tired of such stuffs. i seldom talk to my parents. and when i do, or rather when they do take the initiative to do so, it goes, well we know you have a lot of commitments but you should be aware how important A LEVELS are to you. yes dad, yes mum, i know about that but can't you guys just let me struggle through the last semester in nanyang before reminding of the horrible one in JC, which is like 2 YEARS AND 6 MONTHS AWAY. roar.

#4 squash. sorry but it's consuming my life. i can't decide. i can't put it down. i'm definitely not stopping squash until i reach my commitment. i promised my obs instructor, am not going to let her down. but it makes me wonder if i really want to continue competitive squash. perhaps i shall just fade into the background and be some random defender in floorball or soccer. sigh.

sometimes, i wonder. if only i have a little bit more confidence. just that little bit. perhaps, my dilemmas and problems will be solved.